


All At Once My Roaming Was Done

by Oblivion_Wanderer



Category: The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, First Kiss, Hurt/Comfort, Lyf has a bad time, Other, Post-Bifrost, Reunions, There is so much angst in the first part i am so sorry, Yearning (on Marius's part), nonbinary Lyf, talking about feelings and such, weird dreamscapes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:28:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 20,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23869039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oblivion_Wanderer/pseuds/Oblivion_Wanderer
Summary: Lyf escapes Yggdrasil, lost and alone, but they do not escape unscathed. A chance encounter with a wayward ship reunites Marius with Lyf, but not in the way he'd hoped.Rescued and brought aboard by the Mechanisms, Lyf sleeps (and goes on one hell of a trip while grappling with the Bifrost). Marius stays with them, waiting for them to wake, and deals with his own feelings now that they're back.
Relationships: Lyfrassir Edda/Marius von Raum
Comments: 26
Kudos: 191





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the song Sleeping Beauty, by The Mechanisms (what else were you expecting)
> 
> This is also related to the fic Woven Together, as the inspiration for this one came from that fic (done as a last minute thing for a fic exchange).
> 
> This first part is a whole lot of angst, but it'll get better eventually.

It’s a mercy when the radio finally cuts out and the screams and cries of despair could no longer be heard. They don’t want to hear what Yggdrasil, their whole world, sounds like as it dies; burns in the nuclear chaos unleashed from the Bifrost.

Even when it does finally stutter into static, then to silence, Lyf’s still curled up in a corner of the room; shaking, tears down their face, and grief wound so tightly in their chest that it hurts.

The overlapping messages they’d picked up on the radio had started shortly after leaving Hoddmimis, thinking it to be an incoming transmission from another passing ship. That was a mistake. It dug into them, dragged out their sorrow, and served to remind them that they were Lyfrassir Edda; the last of the Yggdrasil system. They had fled Midgard on this stupid ship without a second thought, without telling anyone. They had left only a report of their findings as a warning. They hadn’t even tried to tell anyone what they had seen (though who would have listened?).

They’d been reminded of all that as they had listened to Yggdrasil burn, and it was all too much.

Lyf assumed they’re out of range now that the radio has cut into silence, leaving the atmospheric hum of the ship. They don’t know how long they’ve been sitting here, but long enough for exhaustion from all their sobbing to seep into them. They were staring to feel cold.

They forced themself to their feet, their legs still shaking, and stumbled off to the singular room that served as the sleeping quarters. Tempting as it was to just stay and wallow in their own grief, they’d rather not stay on the floor to do so. Lyf practically collapsed onto the bed once they were in the room, still feeling cold and their chest still aching with sorrow.

It was a harsh reality they now found themself in; to live knowing that everything they knew, loved, cared about- it was all gone. Yggdrasil was dead; non-existent. All that culture, history, and people… Gone. Their home planet of Midgard had spent 80 years recovering and rebuilding from the revolution, and now it was gone. Lyf’s family- Oh Gods, their family.

Lisbeth, their curious sister, who had been in Svartalfheim with her wife when Lyf started investigating the Ratatosk. Their loving mothers, who had gotten a cello for them when they had first expressed an interest in music and poetry. Lyf still wore the ring one of their mothers passed onto them, a ring that was now the last piece of their family. Hel, Lyf even felt a pang of despair for their cat, Sigrid, who had been a good companion to them. All of that was gone too.

And suddenly the tears start to flow again.

What the fuck were you supposed to do when your entire world was gone and you were the only one left alive?

There is no answer, and Lyf doesn’t know how one should properly grieve for this. So they just continue to sob, and eventually, they cry themself to sleep.

* * *

Time flows on, though Lyf’s stopped paying attention to any indication of time or day. It all bleeds together after while. Sometimes they notice merely a day has gone by, sometimes they loose track completely and suddenly a week has passed. They try to maintain some sense of normalcy (they try to still celebrate Yule, for example), but that’s not possible for them anymore. Between the sorrow in their heart and the nightmares that torment them in their sleep, Lyf becomes adrift.

They try to sleep, but nightmares commonly come to them; leaving them with the feeling of being watched and with static ringing in their ears. They got enough supplies to last them a good long while, but as time went on, Lyf could barely bring themself to eat much more than what was necessary to sustain them. Their hair has grown longer but they do not braid it. They try to write, so they don’t forget anything about the world they knew, but more often than not it leaves their hands shaking.

They feel so alone.

All of that aside though, at some point it becomes apparent to Lyf that they did not escape the Bifrost (Yog-Sothoth, really, but they won't give it the satisfaction of calling it that) unscathed.

It was subtle at first, but the first thing that indicated to Lyf that something had changed within them was their eyes. They had woken one day to find that their eyes had gone silver, which shouldn’t have been possible; their eyes were supposed to be brown. But when they saw their eyes refracting rainbows, Lyf knew with cold dread what exactly was going on, but tried to tell themselves otherwise; that there was a reasonable, non-eldritch explanation.

(they knew better, deep down)

Their hair had been next. Lyf had been combing through it to try to keep it from becoming a mess, and had caught sight of rainbow threaded into it. Lyf thought they’d been hallucinating (isolation and all that), but one quick look in a mirror revealed that their hair was stained with it. The shock and realization of it, that they were changing, made them sick.

After that, they can’t deny that the Bifrost has done something to them; is doing something to them. They may have managed to get out before the complete emergence of the squamous things from between spaces, but not without the Bifrost seeping into them first, seeing as they likely carry some of it within them now. It had probably been there since the first recording Lyf had viewed in the Black Box, or maybe since the days they spent going over the footage repeatedly in a desperate search, or maybe when the truth was finally revealed to them.

(Lyf still remembers when they finally saw the uncorrupted footage; the horrible reality of it all. The images had flashed through their mind and became embedded there. They could see it all with clarity as they recalled what they were seeing. They had almost felt like they were right there on the train as they watched; a silent observer unable to change what was happening.)

And so they continue to drift, with no set course in mind; resigning themselves to the loneliness and knowledge that they are changed; that they're becoming _something_.

They are Lyfrassir Edda still, but at the same time they are not.

* * *

They think about those three sometimes; the prisoners. The last three people that they talked to before everything unraveled.

Raphaella La Cognitzi; the woman with the wings. Lyf had honestly been astounded when they first saw her wings, though that had quickly been replaced by irritation. A woman of science, as they had discovered, but her curiosity bordered on questionable and morbid. She had always appeared bored without anything to study, which was a bit worrying whenever the three broke out; fearing she might decide to go study someone for fun.

Ivy Alexandria; analytical and always wanting more books dropped by the cell. Sometimes her request would be granted, since it didn’t seem to cause any problems. While she was the most quiet and calm of the three, and they were aware that she was a very smart woman, but her analytical tendencies got on Lyf’s nerves. She always looked like she was scrutinizing them whenever they came by, but at least she didn’t cause as much trouble.

And Marius von Raum; a ridiculous man with an infuriating habit of making violins appearing at will. Lyf had taken so many violins from him over the years, piled in a box in their office (the violins had also become a running joke at the station as a result). Marius seemed to enjoy pushing their buttons and just being an overall nuisance. He always seemed in good spirits though, or at least whenever Lyf went to see him and the others.

(Oddly enough, it’s him that Lyf misses the most. For all his teasing, he never went too far, and their conversations always sparked something in Lyf that wasn’t just annoyance. And also- not that they would have ever admitted this to Marius aloud, but he was a very good violin player (it was just that song that pissed them off).)

It occurs to Lyf now that those three had obviously known about the train, and what was to come. They had been waiting for it to reappear, and Lyf bringing them the Black Box had been the confirmation. So they left. They had left for one final time; left Lyf and the rest of their world to that cosmic horror. It was aggravating.

And yet… Lyf wishes they could see them again; speak to them again. Maybe it’s because they’ve been out in the void for so long, loneliness tearing at their heart, that they’re desperate to see or speak to someone, anyone. That included the three bandits, as not only were they the last people Lyf had talked to before seeing the truth of the Black Box, but also a constant presence in Lyf’s life for those years they knew the three. They were the three most infuriating people Lyf had known, but they never hurt them and always cooperated with them (for the most part).

Part of them wishes that maybe they had taken Lyf with them when they fled, but what difference would It have made, really? Those three were long gone now.

They wish they could hear Raphaella talk about things she found scientifically interesting. They wished they could hear Ivy recite one of her stories from memory. They wished- Gods, they wished they could hear Marius play the violin again.

Marius...

...They really, really missed Marius the most.

* * *

Seven months have gone by, according to Lyf’s calculations.

They’re not doing okay, truth be told. They haven’t felt well as of late. Maybe it’s after being adrift for so long they’re finally starting to break down completely. Their nightmares have been getting worse, as well as their headaches. They feel cold all the time now, and just can’t seem to get warm. They feel numb; hollowed out by their grief.

Lyf has never felt more alone and helpless; starting to wonder if this ship was to be their tomb. Their supplies will not last them forever, nor will this ship.

Or maybe whatever the Bifrost did to them will kill them first.

On some random day, after checking on some systems and their supplies, a worrying assessment of such prompts Lyf to scan for any nearby ships. Hel, they’ll take whatever colony passes for civilization at this point.

But nothing comes up.

They next try to send out a distress signal, since the range was fairly decent. They send it to broadcast, and then resigning themself to waiting. With luck, someone will pick it up. Someone had to, right?

Lyf wasn’t sure where they were going anymore. They had set the autopilot in some random direction when they left Hoddmimis that would take them far from Yggdrasil, but had the hope, at first, that they would stumble onto a nearby star system. There had to be something out there… there had to be. However, their supplies were going to start dwindling eventually. They could ration things out for a little bit longer, but it wouldn’t last forever.

Or maybe they should resign themself to this fate.

Lyf’s still on this despairing line of thought when a noise of static makes them freeze. At first, Lyf thinks it’s the radio picking up on something, maybe a response to the distress signal, but the sound isn’t right. They had also turned off the radio once it could no longer pick up on anything coming from Yggdrasil. So it can’t be that. Then what is-

“ _The Void sings, Lyfrassir.”_

Lyf turns at the sound of the voice, but it’s done too quickly and only makes their headache worse and makes rainbow spots dance in their vision. They try leaning against the console until the spots disappear, fearing they might pass out. They really must be loosing it how- they’re hearing things. That drags a sad and hysterical laugh from them at this thought, but they don’t keep it up for long as the laughs turn into coughing. They end up on their knees, a hand over their mouth. Their chest hurts with each spasm, and there’s the fleeting thought that maybe they’re dying.

In a moment when they can manage to catch their breath, they feel something wet on their hand and pull it back. To their surprise, they find a black, oily liquid on their palm. It caught the lights of the room, and it shone with rainbow, like an oil spill in the sun.

Now they do feel faint, and they try to take in breaths to steady themself, but they start coughing again when they try. They must be dying; they must be.

“ _Oh no, you’re not dying. You’re changing.”_

That might be even worse, but Lyf can’t even think to comprehend or voice this to whatever stupid disembodied voice they’ve imagined. They keep coughing up that gunk, and they can’t get enough air into their lungs, and all they see is rainbow, and their head is pounding. They feel like they’re going to split apart.

And then something inside them snaps; sparks.

A maelstrom of color overwhelms them.

* * *

Marius dreams, though he doesn’t realize this.

In the dream, he doesn’t really know where he is, only that he is... somewhere. The surroundings vaguely look like the _Aurora_ , and for a moment, he thinks that’s where he is, but there’s something different. There’s something off about wherever he is.

First off, the walls around him have a rainbow shine to them. Everything around him swirls with rainbow, in fact. That’s not normal, or good.

“Okay. This is weird.” He says aloud.

Maybe someone slipped something into his coffee just to mess with him. Or maybe this is some kind of side effect of a weird poison before he falls over dead, also just to mess with him. If that’s the case, he’ll have to find whoever did that and return the favor, by way of either stabbing or shooting them.

Marius notes that it’s also cold in this place- is the heating broken again?

Wait, wait. No, this… He’s already established that this isn’t the _Aurora_ ; not really. Or is this the _Aurora_?

And also, what was with the rainbows shimmering on… everything? They reminded Marius of something as he watched them dance slowly. They almost reminded him of-

> “ _From within me calls  
>  __Could it be I am sleeping?”_

A voice; singing. There’s someone else here with him, singing something soft and a tiny bit sad. It echoes down the corridor, growing in volume for a moment, then fading out again. The voice almost sounds like someone he knew, once upon a time. Well not terribly long ago, but it might as well have been. And maybe it’s because of that, the singing voice raising a memory of this person, that Marius picks a direction and walks. He listens for the voice again, either for where it come from or just to hear it once more.

So far, Marius hears nothing; just his own footsteps. Then the singing comes again, sounding a bit louder this time, as if he was getting closer to it.

> “ _For a moment I stray  
>  Then it holds me completely.”_

There was the voice again. Maybe he was getting closer? Maybe if he continues to follow he’ll find the source.

The voice echoes down the twisting rainbow pathways, guiding him along. They sound sad and lost, and yet it draws him in; calls to him. It’s like somehow he’s being pulled along by a thread. Or maybe it’s because the voice sounds like the person it reminded him of; the one he once knew. There’s probably some deeper meaning to this train of thought, but he still follows to where the voice calls.

It calls to him through these halls, to a large door at the end of a corridor. It was a fancy one by the looks of it, gilded with gold and bismuth. The singing has stopped, but something tells him that he’s where he needs to be though, so he pushes the door open.

The room inside is bigger than it should be. The structure of the room is skeletal, with glass windows everywhere. Not just any windows either, but stained glass windows; casting everything in rainbows and light. Even the floor seems to reflect this, shimmering like a prism. In the center of the room there was a figure; sitting on the floor and curled into themselves as they hugged their knees to their chest. They sounded like they were crying.

But Marius just stares, not daring to hope that this person he sees before him- it cannot be…

“…Lyf?”

The instant the name leaves him, the person flinches, stills, and slowly brings their head up.

Lyfrassir Edda stares back at him with tired, silver eyes. Tears run down their face. Their lovely braids undone and messy.

“M-Marius…?” They croak, their voice sounding weak.

...He has to be dreaming. Lyf was dead; dead or worse, really, considering what happened to the Yggdrasil system.

And yet-

“Lyfrassir!” His voice comes out in a disbelieving rush as he surges forward, going to their side and kneeling down beside them. They watch him, but still with an expression of confusion and shock. They seem to be stuck like that.

Marius reaches out and cups their head in his hands, but they don’t react. They feel solid in his grasp, but they feel cold; unresponsive.

“...Are you real?” Lyf finally whispers to him. Their eyes shimmer with rainbow tears; they’re crying again.

A choked laugh escapes him as he brushes their tears away as they fall. “I don’t know, really. I could be dreaming for all I know, but if I am, then I’m gonna enjoy it while I can.”

Something changes in Lyf’s expression, unfreezing from their stupor, and they sniffle. Marius just wants to gather them into his arms and hold them for as long as this moment lasts.

“Marius.” They say again, voice still weakened, almost like in a daze.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“Marius. Marius, I’m lost.”

He looks at them, perplexed. “What? What do you mean, Lyf?”

“I’m lost.” They repeat. “I don’t- I don’t know where I am. I’m trapped.”

“Trapped? Where?”

“I said I don’t know. I don’t even know how long it’s been. All I know is these shifting colors that hold me here. I’ve been alone for so long. I don’t… Marius, I...”

“Hey, hey-” Now he does bring them forward and hugs them tight. They feel so real, even as they tremble against him. “I don’t know what’s going on, but it’s gonna be okay. It’ll be okay, Lyf.”

They slowly return the embrace, holding him just as tight as though afraid to let go, and they both stay like this for what feels like a long time. Eventually, the strange and tender moment is broken by a sudden hum of static.

“Hey, you hear that?” Marius asked.

“Hear what?” Lyf pulls back. “Marius, what are you hearing?”

“Static, I think?”

Panic flashes across Lyf’s features, but the static just gets louder. Lyf speaks, but he can’t hear them anymore. It’s replaced by the static.

“Lyf? Lyf, what are you saying?” He tries. “I can’t hear you.”

The colors around them are staring to shine brighter, and the static has grown loud enough to the point of being overhwelming. Lyf’s growing more frantic, first grabbing his hands, squeezing tight, and then taking hold of him by the arms, gently shaking him. Marius doesn’t quite understand why they’re freaking out, but something’s wrong. He can see them speaking, but they can’t hear.

Their hands come up to be placed on either side of his face, but it’s becoming harder to see beyond all the color- is it getting more and more bright?

“Lyf, I can’t hear- what’s going on?”

He winces at the brightness surrounding them, and the last thing he sees before it becomes all too bright is the silver glow of Lyf’s eyes. And he remembers that’s not right; Lyf’s eyes were _brown_ … or they were the last time he saw them.

And over the static, something breaks through.

“ _Don’t leave me!”_

* * *

He wakes with Lyfrassir’s name on his lips.

He’s in his darkened room, in his bed. There are no rainbow lights. No sound of static ringing in his ears. No Lyf to be found.

So it was a dream…

Marius’s slowly waking mind processes this, and when he does, he sighs, screwing his eyes shut and feeling a pang of regret in his heart.

“...Fuck.”

This wouldn’t be the first time he’s had dreams of Lyf; of when he knew them, of if he had just gone back for them like he should have before leaving Midgard ahead of the Bifrost, of what they could have been.

(And sometimes it’s that last one that really gets him.)

This one was different, had felt so much more real than any of the others, but the point remained that it had still been a dream. Of course it had been a dream, because the reality was that Lyf was dead, along with the rest of the Yggdrasil system. Ivy said she’d calculated a chance of them escaping, but Marius didn’t try and hope. He knew it was more than likely that Lyf was gone, and he was never going to see them again. Lyf just existed as a memory now, a ghost to haunt his dreams. He spent a month just wallowing around in regret after returning to the _Aroura_ , and since then tried to push those memories and feelings aside, because he's immortal, and these types of things are a blip in the span of eternity. However, the dream's gone and dug it all up again, like all the other times he's dreamed of Lyf. 

He hadn’t meant for this to happen, really; Lyf had just been someone fun to annoy (because sitting around a prison for decades waiting for a train was so boring), and maybe a tiny bit cute. Something had changed though. He doesn’t know when that had happened, but teasing had turned into flirting, and then morphed into daydreaming, and then “oh fuck I think I have feelings for you”. It hadn’t mattered in the end. Marius had known that from the moment Lyf walked in with the Black Box.

He had wanted to take them away from Midgard, before everything fell apart, but he had told himself there was no point. He was immortal; Lyf was not. There was no point, and there was no point in these feelings because either Lyf would die in the chaos of the Bifrost or die eventually somewhere down the line. So he ignored his feeelings and left, but the second he set foot on the ship, Marius knew he had made a mistake.

He should have gone back for them.

But there’s nothing he can do about that now.

* * *

Marius tries to continue on as normal come breakfast, as if he didn’t just have the most realistic dream of Lyf since leaving Midgard. He tries not to linger on these regrets and puts on a smile, but his mind keeps drifting back to Lyf. He’s pretty sure they took a piece of his heart with them when Yggdrasil fell apart in the chaos of the Bifrost, because it certainly feels like there’s something missing. It’s been that way for months and it hurts.

Leave it to Marius to go ahead and get feelings for a mortal who’s world had been doomed to a prismatic supernova. How stupid was that? It shouldn’t have even mattered because of what he was. Yet, it was Lyf that he couldn’t let go of.

After breakfast, with the dream still on his mind, he decides to go to someone who might understand or help.

“Nastya, you there?” He calls, knocking on the door to engineering. The door slides open, so he assumes it’s safe to enter.

Heat greets him as he crosses the threshold, but it was usually like this in engineering. Nastya usually could be found here, where she could be close to Aurora, and Nastya liked the heat since she tended to run cold (due to her mechanism; her quicksilver blood). He finds Nastya working on some machinery, and she looks up when she hears him approach.

“Marius.” She greets. “This is a surprise. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen you down here before.”

“Yeah, well…” No, he’s never really come to engineering; he’s had no reason. But Nastya knew how to deal with feelings, right? “I wanted to ask you something.”

She looks at him skeptically, but sets down her tools. “This is highly unusual for you. What is wrong? You didn’t seem quite like yourself at breakfast.”

“Was it that easy to tell?”

“You’re just easier to read when it comes to emotions. You’re still not as dramatic as Jonny though.”

Of course she had picked up on something. She had been gone for nearly a century but was still as perceptive as ever.

“Okay, so… feel free to kill me if this is too personal.” She gives him an odd look when he says this, but continues on. “Did you ever dream of Aurora when you were… out?”

Marius expects her to shoot him or something (he knows she keeps a pistol lying around), but only the noises of various machinery echo around them.

“I did, sometimes.” She finally answers. “In between the moments of cold wakefulness.”

“Did you miss her?”

“I held a piece of her with me, but yes. Marius, why are you asking?”

He takes a breath, runs a hand through his hair, and begins. “You know that me, Ivy, and Raphaella were hanging out on Midgard before it got eaten up by a rainbow of madness?”

“Oh, yes; in the Yggdrasil system. When I came back, Jonny told me you three had been in a prison on Midgard for almost 60 years. He mentioned something about a train that had disappeared just before you showed up there.”

“Yeah; the Ratatosk Express. We were there for the story, but there’s another part to it. While we were in the prison, toward the latter half of our stay, there was someone assigned to us by the name of Lyfrassir Edda.”

“Isn’t this the person that Jonny is voicing for our new story about the Bifrost?”

“That’d be them. Anyway, Lyfrassir- we mostly just called them “Lyf”- was assigned to us, but they weren’t as boring as the other cops. They didn’t just stand there all static and dull. They were fun to rile up and tease and they had such an energy to them. I… may have flirted with them a bit too, but that’s cause they were cute, and had this adorable pout whenever they got annoyed, and were just… they were amazing. But then the train showed up, and Lyf got assigned to the case, and...”

He trails off, but Nastya gives a nod in understanding. “I see. You’re telling me you got attached this person. That would explain why you were moping about for a month after you returned. Weren't they a cop of some sort?”

“I mean, officially it was Inspector Second Class and they kinda hated their job, but that’s pretty much what happened. The short version is I spent eight years pinning after them, only to be stupid and not say anything or take them from Midgard when I had the chance, and now they’re probably gone because of the whole Bifrost bullshit. This is the worst.” He pauses to give a short, dry laugh. “I told myself when we left that it wasn’t worth it, that it wouldn’t matter because they’re mortal, but.... I should have just done it anyway; took them with us”

“That’s why you asked me about missing Aurora when I was gone. You miss Lyfrassir, don’t you?”

“Terribly. I keep dreaming of them- it happened again last night. The dream felt so real this time too, like they were right there. They said they were lost and I held them in my arms, but it was still a dream in the end. Haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since. That’s why I asked the other thing too; about dreaming of Aurora. Seeing as you, you know, have your thing with her, I thought… I don’t know. I thought maybe you might have some advice?”

Nastya doesn’t say anything at first, but then steps away and retrieves a bottle of vodka. She tosses him a metal cup too, and even though it’s just the afternoon by the ship’s time, he might as well indulge a little. Time doesn’t really exist in a linear format when in space. They sit near a main console that’s part of Aurora’s interface and she starts pouring him a drink.

“I will not lie to you, there is not much I can offer.” She begins. “I have been with Aurora since before you came to us, but that does not mean I may be able to give the best advice. In these situations, words can do little to mend a hurting heart, save for time, of course. We are not used to that, I think. We assume such feelings to be beyond us because why does it matter in the face of forever?”

Marius takes the cup as she starts pouring herself a drink as well. “Well, it’s been months, and Lyf's still gone, so...”

“My point is that it’s never easy, no matter the scenario. I understand you feel regret as well- do you think I didn’t have regrets about leaving? I held her a piece of Aurora with me, pretend she was with me, but it wasn’t the same and being away from my love hurt, even if she had changed. I missed my family as well, all of you. Being adrift for so long gives you time to think.”

“Trust me, I’ve done plenty of that.”

“Regardless. Based on what you’ve told me, mortal or not, you felt something for Lyfrassir. That means something. Being as we are, we don’t view this, these feelings, the way other people might. Where most people we meet are mortal, it just doesn’t normally register to us; it's more of a fleeting and temporary thing. All we have in the end is our own company. However, you found something in Lyfrassir, and I understand this loss hurts you. You have all the time in the universe to heal from this, Marius. You will be okay. And you have these memories of them, so they are never truly gone.”

“I guess.” He says with a shrug, taking a sip of his drink.

“What makes you think they’re truly gone though?” Nastya asks next. “I’ve heard the story, and it sounded like Lyfrassir might have got out at the end. They were the one investigating the train after all. If they saw what was about to happen, you would think they would flee before the worst happened.”

“Well, that kind of knowledge is probably jarring to a mortal. Ivy did some calculations, and there is a chance, but once the Bifrost bled through to Midgard in full- I heard the transmissions, Nastya. Everything fell apart so fast there when we left, and even if Lyf managed to get out in time, who’s to say they’re alive now? Anything could of happened whether they escaped or not.”

“Fair point. Like I said though; you have those memories of them. Hold onto them and keep them in your heart.”

He takes another sip of his drink, thinking over her words. “I can try. Thanks...”  
  
She nods again, and they finish the rest of their drinks in silence.

* * *

He ends up spending the rest of the afternoon thinking over Nastya’s words, and in the evening he finds himself at his violin, composing a song about Lyf. Everyone else wrote out their feelings through song, so why couldn’t he? It doesn’t help much, mostly it just fills him with longing, but it does feel nice to put those words on paper and try to translate them to sound.

He doesn’t dream of Lyf that night, and maybe that’s for the best.

Morning comes again, and after breakfast Marius returns to working on that song about Lyf for a bit. After a while though, he stops and decides on something else to distract him. Working on this is just bringing back memories.

That’s how he now finds himself up at the bridge with Brian, having a conversation about robotics. It’s fine; it’s a good way to take his mind off things. And that’s going all well and good, until…

“Hold that thought.” Brian says, cutting off his tangent about why giant robots are cool.

Marius frowns, watching as Brian looks over a couple consoles. “What’s up? Aurora find something out there?”

“Seems like it.” Brian looks back to him. “According to her, there’s a ship near our position.”

“Anything we need to worry about or what?”

“Not that I’m aware of. Scans indicate that it’s just floating there, but there is a faint distress signal still being broadcasted.”

“Jonny will probably just be bored with it though and say we should leave it.”

“At the very least we could evaluate it for salvage.” Brian points out. “Especially after that scuffle at that station we stopped at last week."

Brian corrects course for this lone ship and the two resume their conversation about robotics. Salvaging a ship could be fun, and since they traveled space for extended periods of time, the more supplies they had the better.

After a while Brain is able to get a clear image of the ship and addresses Marius again.

“Hey, Marius; does the design of this ship look familiar?” He asks.

“Why?”

Brian merely gestures over to the console, so Marius decides to humor him. He takes a look, sees the image of the ship they were approaching. Doesn’t look like anything special…

...Except the ship is Midgardian in design.

No… there’s no way…

“Marius?”

He blinks, takes a step back. “Damn right it’s familiar.”

* * *

He knows better than to hope, but he’s certain that ship is a Midgardian one. This can’t just be a coincidence. It’s been months, but Lyf’s final note- they said they had charted a ship to get away from Yggdrasil…

It can’t be… but what if it is?

He all but runs into the hangar bay, finding Raphaella already there with a few of her tools, and talking to Ivy.

“Raph! Great! Good to see you! Oh, Ivy’s here too.” He exclaims as he runs in. “What are you two doing here anyway? Thought some of the others would be here.”

“Jonny went to fetch Tim just before you got here. Meanwhile, Brian sent me something interesting.” Raphaella replies. “That ship out there he marked for salvage has a strange energy signal coming from it.”

“And you Ivy?”

Ivy shrugged. “Curiosity. There’s something familiar about this vessel and I am 97% sure I know what it is, so I want to confirm.”

“Oh, good. Then you can tell me I’m not going crazy!”

Raphaella tilts her head, tucking her wings close. “Should I ask why?”

“That ship we’re gonna bring in for salvage? I saw it, and surely you must have too. It’s Midgardian.”

Raphaella and Ivy share a look. “Are you suggesting what I think you are?”

“It could be!” He insists, hope overriding everything else. “Ivy, you know what their final recording said. What’s the chance this is them?”

“Yes, the last recording on the tape and the time it was recorded suggest that Edda may have escaped before the Bifrost consumed the Yggdrasil system.” Ivy explains nonchalantly, listing out her calculations and percentages. “That alone was a split 50%, given the circumstances, and that it had already been a few days since the train arrived in Midgard. With how much time has passed, though there are multiple factors to consider, the percentage had dropped to 17%. If this was any other ship, the chances of this being Edda would remain the same, possibly lower. However, I am certain that we are looking at a Midgardian ship for salvage, and we did not encounter any space craft fleeing from the Yggdrasil system as the Bifrost claimed it. Given we did not encounter any other ships from Yggdrasil, much less Midgardian, in the first month or two of leaving the system, with the addition of Edda’s final remarks, the happenstance occurring here brings the percentage to 75%.”

It’s enough for Marius. “So it could be them, right?”

This time Raphaella steps forward and Marius half expects her to say something about not getting his hopes up, or poking fun at the fact he managed to get a crush on Lyf and has done a very bad job of pretending otherwise. Instead, she pats his head and smiles.

“Let’s find out, shall we?” She says. "It would be interesting to see the dear Inspector again."

They all wait until the smaller ship is connected via the docking rig and Brian gives the okay to go ahead with the salvage. The others aren’t here yet, but Tim had said something in their group chat about feeding the octokittens first and one had jumped onto Jonny’s face, again, so it’s just Marius, Ivy, and Rpahaella for now. Marius is anxious all the while, eager to get aboard the ship at the possibility that somehow Lyf is back; they’re back in his (immortal) life. On the other hand though, he’s also anxious because if Lyf is aboard, what kind of state would he find them in?

It has been roughly seven months since the destruction of Yggdrasil, and while that isn’t much for someone like Marius, for someone like Lyf it might have been worse. Brian had said that he couldn’t get a response from the ship either and there was still that weird energy signal. If Lyf was aboard, the question became were they okay? Were they well? Was there something that prevented them from responding?

(A desperate part of Marius hoped that if Lyf was aboard, he wouldn’t find them dead.)

The three of them boarded the ship and passed through the airlock to the interior without issue. It was once they were in the ship’s interior that things started to get weird, and when Marius was hit with two very specific feelings: deja vu, and that something was very wrong.

“There’s definitely something weird going on here.” Raphaella announces, holding some device in her hands. “The energy signature Aurora picked up on is growing stronger. The source must be further inside.”

“It’s stupidly cold is what it is.” Marius grumbles. The ship’s heating must be broken.

“It might be worse than that.” Ivy says pointing towards a door.

Marius doesn’t like what he sees. One side of it has creeping cracks of rainbow coming from between the door and the wall. There’s more of this at the bottom of the door, seeping through into this room.

“Ivy… If- If Lyf is here, if they escaped in time, what’s the chance they've still been exposed to the Bifrost?” Marius asked, staring at the rainbow colors on the door.

“The Black Box was found with the train, so we can conclude that the Black Box itself was exposed to the Bifrost. If we take into account how ragged Edda looked when we last saw them, and we know they spent days reviewing the footage multiple times before they came to us, they could have had plenty of exposure. If that was the case, seeing the full truth could have made it worse. Edda’s last note is timestamped just before the Bifrost’s full emergence on Midgard. With the available data… I say 95%.”

That’s what he was afraid of, and he grimaces at her given percentage. That wasn't good.

Raphaella seems to pick up this and gently nudges him with a wing. “We don’t know what’s going on for sure. Let’s keep going.”

They exit the room into a corridor, and… the walls are covered in shimmering rainbows.

“Goodness...” Ivy whispers, looking around; cataloging the sight.

“Shit, it’s everywhere.” Raphaella adds.

Marius doesn’t say anything, because this is looking all to familiar to his dream from the other night. Whatever hope he had when he came down to the hangar bay is being drowned by worry because if Lyf is really here, somewhere in this mess…

This was bad. This was really bad.

‘ _Lyf, if you’re here, give me a sign.’_ He thinks as a silent prayer.

For the most part, he’s quiet as they continue down the corridor. Raphaella continues to track the energy signature, which according to her is concentrated at the bridge. She doesn’t say it’s on par with readings she’s taken of the Bifrost, but he doesn’t need her to say it to know. The evidence is all around them.

Soon enough they come to what should be the door to the bridge, but it’s closed. Vines pulsing with rainbow colors are growing out of the edges and around the door.

It’s also covered in lines of gold; swirls of bismuth.

No…

“We’re in the right place.” Raphaella says. "There shouldn't be vines here either. This doesn't make sense-" She continues rambling, but he isn't paying attention. “-Marius?”

“...I’ve seen this before.” Marius’s voice comes out in a whisper. “They’re here.”

He steps forward and tries to pry the door open. Surprisingly, it doesn’t take much effort before he’s able to push it open and step forward onto the bridge.

And there, everything stops. 

The room itself is... strange, to say the least. Colors paint every surface, every object in the room. Specks of golden light dance in the air. The strange rainbow vines that had been seen around the door are in here too; snaking through the walls and ceiling. Said vines lead back to the far side of the rainbow painted room, and there-

Lyfrassir is slumped down against the wall; unconscious. The wall behind them looks warped, and it seems portions of it have melted and dripped down onto and around their upper body, along with the vines that snake around them. The floor around them shines and shimmers; ripples coming from where Lyf lies, as if all this color just exploded out of them.

Marius wasn’t sure what the hell had happened here, but all that he was focused on was that Lyf was here. 

“Would you look at that.” Raphaella remarked. “So they did escape.”

“But not unscathed, it would seem.” Ivy added.

Marius hears them both, but he’s already rushing forward, his footsteps sending ripples out as if the floor is water. He kneels down once he reaches Lyf, taking in the sight of them. It feels almost unreal, because he was so sure they were dead before now, but he knows this is them, not just a dream. They're wearing the same clothes as when he last saw them. Their sleeves are rolled up and he sees that tattoo of knotwork consistent with Yggdrasil's art styles around the wrist of their right hand. He spots a ring on the same hand; the ring he'd seen them wear every single day.

They're exactly as Marius remembered, and it makes him smile, just for a moment though. There’s joy at seeing them again after so long, but it’s quickly replaced by concern.

They look almost peaceful, as if asleep, and that would almost be reassuring if it wasn't for everything else he was noticing. Their hair was longer than the last time he saw them, but it’s lacking in braids, not to mention the fact there are splotches of rainbow in their hair too. Rainbows are shadowed under their eyes as well. They've definitely been touched by the Bifrost. There's also something dark staining their hands. He doesn't think it's their blood, there's no visible injuries from what he could tell, but still, it's a bit worrying. Marius is able to determine that they’re still breathing and locates a pulse; present but slow. However, they were completely unresponsive and cold to the touch.

“Lyf.” He says, taking their head in his hands. “Lyfrassir, it’s me. You remember, right? Remember all the violins you took from me? Come on now, wake up. I’ll start singing if I have to.”

No response; they remain lifeless like a ragdoll and cold in his grasp. He frowns, puzzled. He knows they’re not dead, but-

“Are they alive?” Ivy asks from beside him. He doesn’t know when she decided to approach.

“Yeah, but...” He brushes his thumb over their check. “Something’s wrong. They’re way out of it, and there’s all this rainbow junk, and they're really cold...”

“Maybe it’s this place?” Raphaella suggests. “If we take Lyf from here maybe that will help?”

“It may be wise to bring them back aboard and set them up in the medbay.” Ivy adds. “Get some use out of it for once.”

“Yeah… Yeah, that’s good. Right. Let’s do that.” Marius agrees, already trying to figure out the best way to get Lyf up and out of here.

In the end, he has to have Raphaella and Ivy help, since the vines are in the way and tangled around Lyf. There was a lot of cutting things away and careful prying as to avoid hurting them and, but they gradually got Lyf unstuck. Ivy helped situate them in Marius’s arms while Raphaella took some samples for research.

They left the ship quickly after that, none of them feeling comfortable staying here any longer.

When they were back on the Aurora, Marius stopped to check on Lyf again. Sill nothing, save for their pulse and slow breathing. They were still dreadfully cold, almost like a corpse.

“Shit.” Marius cursed. “What do you think is wrong with them?”

"You're the one always claiming to be a doctor." Ivy says.

"Okay, I may not know a lot, but even weird eldritch rainbow shit is way out of my range!"

“I want to say hypothermia, but it doesn’t add up.” Raphaella cuts in, gently touching the back of her hand to Lyf’s cheek. Ivy, meanwhile, set a hand on Marius's shoulder as an attempt at comfort. “If you don’t mind, Marius, maybe bring them up to my lab first? I can run some tests. Nothing drastic, I promise; just a blood sample and a few scans.”

He nods. If anyone knew what was going on it might be her. “Okay.”

Marius readjusts his hold on Lyf, whispering assurances that he was going to get them someplace to rest soon; he was just taking them to Raphaella’s lab first. He’ll make sure she doesn’t make you a science experiment, Lyf; don’t you worry.

Of course this is the moment when the others decide to finally show up.

“Okay, okay, we’re here.” Jonny announces as he walk in, Tim in tow. “Tim wouldn’t help get an octokitten off my face that attacked me and Ashes thought it was funny-” And now he notices what’s going on; sees the person Marius is holding. “Uh… Who the fuck is that and why do they look like someone tried to dye their hair every single color?”

“Not in the mood, Jonny.” Marius says with a glare.

“Lyfrassir Edda.” Ivy speaks up. “They were assigned to the Ratatosk investigation.”

“The guy from the recording- Wait, is this that cop you all kept messing with?”

“Yes. Turns out they’re not as dead as we though, although… I’d suggest jetting that ship into space and blowing it up. Looks like a Bifrost colored bomb went off in there. Nothing to salvage.”

“Oh! I can take care of that.” Tim volunteers. “So, uh… we keeping this fellow?”

“Hang on a minute.” Jonny protests. “Are they even safe to keep here? Clearly something from the Bifrost got to them if their ship is apparently crawling with rainbows.”

“Now, Jonny, we don’t know for sure how it’s affected them.” Raphaella retorts. “We’re going to take Lyf up to my lab, but I see no harm in letting them stay until we know more. This would be an excellent chance to gather more data on the Bifrost as well!”

He rolls his eyes. “Fine. Don’t blame me if everything starts melting into rainbow goop. Tim, mind taking care of that ship? I’m taking Ivy’s advice on this one.”

“Yeah, yeah; let me grab some explosives from the armory first.” Tim replies.

"Can I please get Lyf to a bed now?" Marius insists.

"My lab first." Raphaella reminds him.

"Oh, right."

Marius departs the hangar bay to take Lyf to her lab, not caring to stick around while Tim had fun making something explode. He doesn’t know what happened to Lyf, or how long they’d been in this state before this chance meeting, but he’ll do what he can for them now.

Is it some stupid hope that this is trying to make up for not going back for them? Maybe. Lyf is here now; not a dream. They’re here and in his arms, and he’s not going to leave them again. Everything would be fine. He had resigned himself to never seeing Lyf again and that he had to live with that, but now that they're here- the rainbows all over them is probably something to worry about, but for now, other feelings are overriding it. Relief, delight at seeing them again, everything he never told Lyf. There's so much coming to mind that he could say, but now is not the time.

‘ _It’s gonna be okay. It’ll be okay.’_ He says silently to himself. _‘_ _You’re safe now, Lyf.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The scene where they find Lyf is low-key inspired by Annihilation (bc rainbow imagery and general weirdness)
> 
> Lyrics used in the dream sequence come from Evening Falls, by Enya
> 
> The second part is in progress but just about ready for edits so it should be up sometime in the near future


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lyf sleeps, and deals with what they are becoming by way of a Bifrost induced dreamscape. Marius waits, evaluating his feelings for Lyf and keeping them company.
> 
> And then... then things get better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This part is a bit longer, but I hope you all enjoy. Yes it starts weird and sad, but it'll get better by the end; promise.

They don’t know how long they’ve been here, in this twisting landscape of many colors and their hues. They don’t remember where they were before this; drifting through space maybe? Fleeing from something- yes, fleeing from the destruction of their home.

But they couldn’t escape it themself, could they? It was already in them; it had been there from the moment they opened the Black Box.

Yes… Yes, that makes sense.

They don’t want this, but the colors surround them, hold them here. They show them the twisted things they beheld before they realized what was about to happen to their home. They play in a loop, and they are helpless to them.

Screaming, twisting, tearing.

Madness.

They are scared. They are lost. They are alone. They feel the rainbows move through their veins.

“Sanity has no meaning in this place.” They heard Odin say once before everything died. They hear her voice again now, and they know somewhere she is watching them. Whether it’s an illusion of this place or not, they know she’s there, speaking to them sometimes. She’s enjoying their suffering, but trying to convince them to accept this new existence; what they are now. They don’t want to, they want to believe there’s something left of themself. Honestly they would just like Odin to shut up and go away; they hated her on principle and for the fact she created the catalyst for their home’s destruction.

And so they wander. They wander through the scenes- the same scenes, the same faces, over and over.

It has crossed their mind that after all this time, after all their effort to escape, the Bifrost still managed to drag them back and this was their existence now. They could never escape it and they were a fool to think they could.

Maybe the Bifrost killed them after all.

Once… Once… At some unknown time, they found themself in a new place; a room of stained glass windows. guess was that maybe they were in a representation of the train’s observation deck. That would make the most sense. Normally, light being transformed into the colors through glass would be a very beautiful sight, but right now it’s nothing comforting. It’s just another extension of wherever the Hel they are, even if it seems they’ve been granted a reprieve from the looped footage. All those multitudes of color still swirl outside this room, and remind them that they are trapped. It reminds them of what has taken root in them.

They sit on the floor, shaking and pulling their knees to their chest. They can feel tears in their eyes again. They miss their home, their family, all of which was now gone. In an effort to calm themself, they start to sing; a sad quiet song that conveys how lost they feel. If they can sing then they still here, still themself, right? They watch the colors that slowly dance across the room through the numerous stained glass windows as they do so, and they wish that they had the will to appreciate it, but it’s just a harsh cruel light right now.

They can’t hold the song for long and the words die; fade into nothing. They can’t find their voice anymore. They lean their head forward and close their eyes as a sob tears itself from them.

They are not who they once were. They’re something else. They are some twisted up thing, and they are trapped; forced to see those horrible scenes from the recordings over and over.

This is who they are now.

‘ _Let me go. Let me go.’_ They silently beg as they cry. _‘If I’m dead then let me go. I don’t want to be a squamous thing. I don’t want to see what I already know._ _I can’t take it._ _’_

They feel cold start to seep into them, and they can hear static from somewhere.

‘ _Let me go.’_

And then-

“…Lyf?”

The cold recedes. The static disappears. They look up, and they see someone they never thought they’d see again standing on the other side of the room.

“M-Marius...?” Their voice comes out in a broken sound.

They remember this person; the annoying prisoner with the violin. The one with all the smiles. The one with the metal arm. The one who could carry a fine tune when it wasn’t being used to annoy them.

And as he rushes to them, he says something and they remember they have a name. Right… their name. They are Lyf. They are Lyfrassir Edda. They remember this as Marius puts his hands on either side of their head, as Lyf asks if he is real in a place where everything is so wrong, as he brushes away their tears.

They don’t why or how he’s here, but they don’t care.

They tell Marius they are lost; trapped. They’re given assurances that it’ll be okay and they are held by Marius. Lyf hasn’t felt such warmth in so long; they could lose themself in it. They want to believe him; that everything will be okay when everything around them is the very opposite of okay.

The moment doesn’t last, Marius suddenly claims to hear the sound of static. Lyf can’t hear it, but they start to panic. It’s not just that that’s got Lyf worried, but the fact that some of the colors around them seem to glow brighter on Marius and make him appear translucent.

‘ _No no no no-’_

Lyf tries to keep him talking, tries to keep him here. They don’t want to be alone again. They want Marius to take them away from there. He keeps fading and fading into color that grows too bright, and Lyf calls out to him in desperation.

“Don’t leave me!”

But there’s a flash and he’s gone. Lyf is alone again, staring at where Marius just was. They don’t know whether the Marius they had seen had been real or not, but it hurt to have him just so suddenly pulled away and leaving them alone.

It hurts a lot more than it should.

Then the sound of static comes to them as well, but in a familiar tone.

“Your prince charming won’t be able to come save you with a kiss, if that’s what you’re hoping for.” Odin’s stupid, familiar voice tells them, chides them. Another mocking joke. “What an annoyance.”

Lyf takes a shaky breath and manages to turn to face her. “Leave him out of this. If you’ve trapped him here too-”

“I’ve done no such thing.” Odin replies with a sickening grin. “He’s long since gone, but you already knew that, didn’t you?”

Yes; Lyf did know that. When they found out that Marius, Ivy, and Raphaella had left after Lyf had Ivy fix the Black Box, they knew they wouldn’t be coming back. It hadn’t been the first time the three had broken out of their cell, but Lyf had known then they were gone for good.

“I know… but he’s much better company than you. My home at least got 80 years free of you, even if it didn’t matter in the end.”

She tilts her head. “So stubborn, but you’ll learn soon enough. You can’t deny the gift that’s been bestowed upon you forever. That’s exactly how you got yourself into this little predicament.”

“Why the Hel would I call this a gift?” Lyf snaps, gesturing to the space around them.

“You will.”

Without warning, the windows around them shatter, the space falls apart, and then they are drowning in color. It’s all too bright.

* * *

True to her word, Raphaella just takes a sample of Lyf’s blood and runs a couple scans on them. Marius stays by their side the entire time, watching as Raphaella hums a song and makes some notes as she works. She goes on about adding this data to her notes on the Bifrost, but that’s to be expected from her. Ivy’s not with them, instead cross referencing some of her own data to help as well over in the library, upon Raphaella’s request.

When Raphaella was finished with her tests, Marius took Lyf back to the medbady so he could tend to them properly. He had to shoo a few octokittens off a bed, but he wasn’t too concerned about the pesky critters.

He set Lyf down and first placed over them a heated blanket to hopefully help bring up their body temperature. Next he gathered up a few pillows and arranged them around Lyf so they were more comfortable. He dug out the old medical equipment that was rarely used and set it up to monitor Lyf’s vitals. Everything read unchanged and consistent, which he assumed was good.

Once all that was done, Marius pulled up a chair to their bedside, sitting down and letting out a sigh. This was not how he’d been expecting today to go.

And yet, he’s happy with the outcome.

Well, not fully. Lyf’s still unconscious, which is concerning, but they were somewhere safe now, or as safe as they could be. There’s still the matter of the Bifrost stuff to deal with, but he’ll leave that for Raphaella to determine, and it can wait till Lyf wakes up. They would probably be annoyed to see him, but it would be worth it. Maybe he could introduce them to the rest of the crew once they felt better!

For now, though, letting them recover from whatever happened was more important. Lyf was here, and they were safe. They were alive.

“God, Lyf- it’s good to see you again.” Marius says, smiling and looking over to where Lyf slept. “I missed you, you know. Were you just out there drifting through space this entire time? Ha; wish I’d known that sooner.”

They said nothing, but he wasn’t expecting a response. He’d figured by now that whatever had happened to Lyf was Bifrost related, somehow, and they were going to need a while to come out of it.

“I’ve got something to tell you once you’re up and about, but don’t worry about it.” He wants to reach over and ruffle their hair, or braid it, but he remembers hearing somewhere that for those of the Yggdrasil system that gesture was a more intimate one, so he doesn’t.

Instead, he reaches out and takes their hand. Still cold.

They’re going to be fine. They’re going to wake up sooner or later.

(He’s trying to ignore the part of him that’s saying it’s worse than he thinks. He doesn’t know how long Lyf had been out there like this. Maybe it had been longer than he thought.)

“You’ll be okay here, Lyf. Don’t you worry.” Marius says, giving their hand a squeeze. “And once you’re awake, you can meet the rest of the crew! They’re not all bad- well, maybe be cautious around Jonny… but you’ve got me still! You’ve got me and my violin to keep you company.”

Their hand is cold, but he doesn’t let go.

Sometime later, Raphaella glides into the medbay.

“Good news, Marius!”

She's in a cheery mood. Usually that means she’s found something interesting.

Marius startles when he hears her and lets go of Lyf’s hand. “Oh yeah? So, uh, what did you find?”

“Something interesting about Lyf! I think I might know what’s going on.”

“Does it explain the rainbows in their hair and what we saw on the ship?”

“I mean, sort of? Depends on your perspective.” She glides over to sit down at the end of the bed. Marius tells her to be mindful of the equipment he set up to monitor Lyf’s vitals. “I talked with Ivy, crossed referenced my findings with things she collected from the Yggdrasil system. We concluded that, by this point, it’s clear Lyf has been exposed to the Bifrost. It’s done some interesting things to them; their hair for example. Through my tests I have also detected evidence of heightened regeneration, on par with our own.”

“You saying now they might be immortal like us if they have that kind of regenerative power?”

“Maybe. That’s a bit beside the point right now. It would seem said exposure has changed the appearance of their blood and may have permanently lowered their body temperature. I don’t know if you’ve noticed their eyes either; they’ve gone silver. It will be interesting to see of they can perceive a higher spectrum of color now! Of course that will require more tests...”

“You’ll have to wait till they’re awake to ask.” Marius reminds her.

“Speaking of which- Lyf retains a piece of the Bifrost now, and it has affected them to the point where they have been changed. Me and Ivy think at some point Lyf may have had a dreadful reaction to this change and a bit of the energy they now contain slipped out. The only instance Ivy could find of something similar occurring was with Loki, suggested in Odin’s logs and dated around the time of Loki’s “execution”; something about Loki’s connection giving her key knowledge that Odin could not afford to loose. On the other hand, early reports Ivy found on the Bifrost suggest… other unpleasant things. Regardless, if this happened, it might also explain the state we found them in. According to my tests, something has caused nearly everything in their body to shut down, save for their heart and lungs. I’ve seen strange, erratic activity in their brainwaves as well. It could very well be the piece of the Bifrost that exists within them is keeping them alive.”

“So… they’re in a state of hibernation?”

Raphaella sighs and looks over to Lyf. “Of sorts. What me and Ivy came up with how we can best explain it. Whatever Lyf went through in the time between the last time we saw them and now has greatly weakened them, and their body is trying to recover. Bifrost effects aside, their journey has not been kind to them. They’re likely not used to having such an energy in them. Perhaps internally they are grappling with that as well. In the Yggdrasil system, some believe that conflicts of the mind can express themselves as ailments of the body.”

Marius could only imagine. Lyf had their entire world destroyed by this, and presumably they were the last of Yggdrasil. No… Marius heard the dying transmissions from that star system. He’s seen the recordings Ivy copied from the Black Box. Lyf _is_ the last. And now they had a bit of the Bifrost in them too? Yeah, Marius can only imagine what kind of horrifying revelation that was.

“Do… Do you think they will wake up?”

She looks back to him. “That depends on Lyf. However, I think when they are ready, they will come around. We both know they are quite stubborn. They would not die so easily.”

He manages to give a light chuckle. “Yeah. They’re a stubborn bastard. That’s what I like about them though.”

Raphaella smiles. “I see you still have a crush on them.”

“Don’t start. It’s just… it’s been a while and- Look, I thought Lyf was dead. Poke fun at me all you want, but suddenly finding out the person you may or may not have gotten attached to while you were stuck in a prison is still alive kinda brings everything rushing back. I’ve wanted to see Lyf again for so long, but… this isn’t what I had in mind.”

“In all fairness, it was easy to tell you liked them. You would just go on and on about Lyf when we were still on Midgard, and don’t think me or Ivy didn’t notice you trying to flirt with them using your violin.”

Ah yes, good times.

Marius remembered it all; every scowl, every roll of the eyes, every drawn out sigh. And he remembered other things too; the braids they had in their hair that sometimes were done up all fancy, the rare smile or laugh he had only seen or heard on a few occasions, how much life they had.

He had missed all of that.

“Yeah, good times.” He mutters.

* * *

They drift through a sea of color. Gods, it’s so suffocating, and it’s all too bright- all too much.

But they are here, and they drift.

Lyf is trying their best to block it all out, to make sense of it. These no sense of meaning or order in the Bifrost though. It’s so hard to keep themselves together when those colors seep into every part of them and sing to them.

They hear echos of voices, of Odin’s song, a far off chant, their own voice through staticy recordings…

They don’t know whether this is worse than reliving the recordings they saw in the Black Box; that’s just as bad. This is more disorienting though; dizzying. If it was meant to do so then it’s working. Maybe that’s what Lyf gets fore being snarky with an eldritch force, but they had meant every word. Nothing about this is a gift. How can it be?

Their world had unraveled because of this madness and they were the only person left. How can Lyf find anything but hate for this?

They close their eyes, trying to block out the sounds. They still hear the chant that opened the gates.

(They’d rather hear the voice that told them everything would be okay when it clearly wasn’t. They want to feel that warmth again.)

“Just… shut up and go away.” Lyf whispers into the void.

Something responds back. _“You don’t like the song?”_

They shudder. “No. I’m sick of it. I’m sick of all of this.”

“ _Oh, but Lyfrassir, you can’t deny that you can hear it. It calls to you, like it called to Odin-”_

“I said, shut up. You can’t keep me here forever.”

“ _But you can’t outrun what exists within you now either, can you? It is a part of you.”_

“Just leave me alone!”

Their words echo out around them, and this time there is no response.

The chant still persists, but maybe something in the words they just spoke affected it, because ever so slowly, it grows quiet. Of course once it goes quiet enough, it’s replaced by… not exactly static, but white noise. Okay, that’s a bit better. They shouldn’t be so calm about that, it could be a trick, but if it got them away from those voices then they’ll take it.

Lyf lets out a breath, and let themself drift. The white noise may be having a calming effect on them, but that still doesn’t ease the deeper feeling that they’re still fighting off. Loneliness and sorrow; knowing no one is coming to save them. The fear that this is all they’ll ever know ever again. Knowing that they are changing and afraid of what they are changing into.

As if their emotions are bleeding out into the world around them and causing a response, something shifts in the white noise, and Lyf thinks they can faintly hear a voice call out.

“ _-it’s gonna be okay. It’ll be okay, Lyf.”_

Marius… Gods, it was ironic to think this man they once thought of as a nuisance was someone they would very much like to talk to again, just so they feel less alone. They had initially taken a dislike to Marius when they first met, but that wasn’t really accurate anymore. There was something else there too with their memories of him; something they had felt before everything went to shit.

They still couldn’t tell if the vision of Marius from before was a conjuring of their own subconscious, an illusion of the Bifrost, or that somehow Marius had actually found his way here for just a moment (which really shouldn’t be possible; no one can find them here).

‘ _I’m trying, Marius.’_ They think. ‘ _Really, I am.’_

And so they drift, knowing eventually they’ll wash up in another loop to witness again.

* * *

Alright. He understands that Lyf’s been put through the wringer and that they need to let them heal themself (or deal with whatever’s going on in their head), but it’s been a few days since they brought Lyf aboard and they’re still not awake. Raphaella had given him a fairly good assessment on Lyf’s condition, but it was hard not to worry.

On the bright side, their body temperature has gone up a bit. Not to normal levels where it should be, but he remembers what Raphaella said about that and figures, yeah, that’s just a thing now. Nastya could probably relate; there was a reason she liked to hang around engineering. Marius had turned off the heated blanket a while back, but didn’t remove it, figuring Lyf might feel a bit more comfortable with it. Not like he could tell; Lyf was still sleeping, frozen and still.

So Marius comes by often when he’s not composing music, or practicing with the band for their new album, or anything else.

He’s just worried. Really, he is.

(but there’s lots he’d like to say to Lyf too, and if they don’t come back, if they don’t wake up, then what’s the point? He’ll just be heartbroken again. He trusted them to figure things out and come back, but…)

He’s checking up on Lyf one morning when someone else comes stumbling into the medbay.

“What the- Tim?”

The gunner is holding one of his arms to his chest, and his face is twisted up in pain. “Broke my arm.”

“Ah. Does Jonny have those ridiculous roller blades out again?”

Tim nods. “What do you think?”

“Suppose he’ll end up in here sometime today then. Did he run into you or something?”

“Yeah. I was on my way to feed the octokittens and the bloody idiot wasn’t watching where he was going.”

Marius suppresses a laugh. “Alright come over here, I’ll set it.”

For all his claims of being a doctor, and the others making fun of him for it, he did at least know a bit of basic first aid. He at least knew how to set up a splint for a broken arm or leg from basic materials, or in this case whatever he had lying around. He gestured for Tim to go sit on an empty bed while he rummaged around for stuff. 

When he came back, he had Tim lay down so he could do his work. Tim was quiet as Marius went about applying the splint, though he did see that Tim’s head was tilted to the side, looking at something past them. At Lyf most likely, since Tim had decided to take the bed next to them. Marius pretends not to notice.

“All set.” He says when he’s done. “I know it should heal up in a couple hours because of our regeneration, but don’t mess with it, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Tim grumbles as Marius helps him sit up and put his arm into a makeshift sling. “So, uh...” Tim’s gaze flickers past him again. “Lyf’s still out of it?”

“Yeah, our resident “Sleeping Beauty”.” Marius then decides that not really a clever joke. “...Don’t tell Lyf I said that.”

“They’re unconscious, Marius. What makes you think there would be any point to me telling them? I can kind of see the resemblance though; you know, the Briar Rose?”

“That was before I got here, but I can see that.” He knew Tim was talking about the woman who had been used to power a defense grid during King Cole’s War (or Snow’s Rebellion depending on who you asked). The Briar Rose had also been known as Sleeping Beauty back then, slumbering while she was unwillingly used for King Cole’s purposes. But Lyf wasn’t being used for anything like that. This was some weird eldritch nonsense that had them stuck in this state.

“You try singing to them? Play Tales To Be Told! I heard that was always an effective way to get their attention, or at least from what I heard on the recordings.”

“As fun as that sounds, just because it always riled them up back on Midgard doesn’t mean it will work here. It no fun unless they’re awake either.”

“Ah, well; just throwing out a suggestion. You seem, I don’t know, oddly worried. You haven’t been like your cheery self lately.”

Marius glances over his shoulder at Lyf, and then looks back to Tim. “I mean, how we found them was weird and all rainbowy, for starters. Raphaella did some tests and gave a bit of a weird analysis too.”

“Yeah, but they’re mortal, right?” Tim questions. “Mortals die. All the time.”

“Look, you’re not the one who spent 60 years in a prison and then had this guy assigned to you eight years before it all fell apart, who- by the way- turned out to be very great company.”

“Whatever you say.”

Marius decides to change the subject to get off this line of thought. “How your arm feeling?”

“Oh. A bit better.” Tim replies. “Thanks.”

“Sure thing! I’d recommend staying away from Jonny for a bit though, until your arm heals.”

“Believe me, I will. Oh, and if Jonny ends up here later, tell him to cool it with the cowboy roller blades.”

“I can try. You know he won’t,”

“Unfortunately.”

Tim stands from the bed and leaves. Marius knows Jonny will likely end up in here later in the day with a broken leg or something, as such tended to happen when he got out the roller blades. He wasn’t sure why Jonny had them in the first place.

He turns around and looks back to Lyf. “In case you’re wondering, yes it’s always like this.”

He wanted to think that if Lyf was awake they may laugh at that. It’d be nice to hear that laugh again.

* * *

“Not that I need to ask, but where are you off to?” Ivy asks the next day, catching him sometime around noon; a few books in her arms.

“Nowhere.” Marius replies. “Just to check on Lyf.”

“So they are still asleep.”

“Yeah. I was hoping they’d be awake by now, but Raph said they’re probably dealing with a lot of stuff internally because of the Bifrost, so...” He doesn’t bother to finish that sentence. “Anyway, you wanna come with?”

She shrugs and follows him wordlessly over to the medbay.

Nothing much about Lyf has changed; still asleep, and all the outputs from their vitals reading the same as before. Ivy lingers nearby as he checks over the equipment and notes the outputs as unchanged.

“I calculated an 80% chance this is where you run off to all day.”

He shrugs. “Just been keeping an eye on Lyf.”

“I can see that,” She says.

“Hey, I show up to practice!” He exclaims, turning back to her. “We’ve got 4 months till we get to the next planet where we can actually play the new album.”

“That you do, but do you think no one else has noticed? We all know you’ve been spending a lot of time here since we picked up Lyf.”

He sighs, exasperated. “I’m just worried, okay, Ivy? I mean, I know what Raphaella said and I’m sure they’re gonna wake up at some point, but I’m still worried.” He looks over to their sleeping form; watches the slow rise and fall of their chest. “What if it’s worse than we thought?”

“Raphaella would have told you if there was anything to worry about.”

“Yeah, but do you see all the rainbows in their hair? There’s still some weird eldritch stuff in play. That’s what gets me.”

“Hmm.” Ivy comes to stand next to him as he smoothed the blanket over Lyf. “I also think there’s 75% chance you have not slept recently because you’re freaking yourself out over this.”

Marius laughs. “What’s the worst that’s gonna happen? If I fall over dead from sleep deprivation I’ll just get right back up again a few minutes later.”

“But you should, because if you fall asleep during practice, Jonny _will_ kill you and you know it. Listen, I know you weren’t too happy when we came back from Midgard and you actually wanted to bring Edda with us. You were a bit too busy repressing your feelings to see that. So, now you want to make up for it. Think of it this way though, you won’t be able to properly annoy Edda when they wake up if you exhaust yourself.”

Well, that’s a thing he could do… though he’d also very much like to kiss them, when they’re awake of course.

(He doesn’t say that part.)

“Marius, go get some tea and go the hell to sleep.” Ivy says in the most calm and gentle voice she could.

“I’m fine, Ivy. Besides, it’s barely noon.”

“Still. If it will make you happy, I will sit here with Edda. I have my books to keep me company.”

Well, if she’s offering…

“Fine, fine. I’ll go get some stupid tea before one of you makes some and slips some sedatives in it.”

Ivy tilts her head in that way that tells she’s running some calculations through her head. “Well, that was an option-”

“Seriously?”

She smiles, and that’s just a confirmation that yes, she was being serious.

“Okay, just-” Marius glances back at Lyf again, and then to Ivy. “Keep them calm if they wake up and let me know? I don’t think Lyf’s gonna be too happy to know where they are.”

“I would not be surprised in the least if Edda reacted in such a way. But I’ll admit, I would be interested in having a conversation with them when they wake up.”

“Cool; thanks, Ivy.”

She says nothing; just sits down in the chair and opens one of her books. Marius retreats back to his room, forgetting about the tea entirely. He doesn’t even go to sleep right away, like he said he was going to. Instead, he opens his composition notebook (where he may or may not have written a few things about Lyf).

Lyf had really thrown him for a loop, hadn’t they? First by being a slightly cute inspector he could annoy, and then because Marius had actually become fond of them. Then there was when everything fell part and Marius made a mistake that meant leaving Lyf behind. Then there was the regret that spanned over these long months.

And now, now Lyf was back, but clearly Bifrost-touched and in a weakened, unconscious state.

Marius had never expected to get attached to them, but here he was. He regretted leaving Lyf behind when he left Midgard, and it wasn’t even two weeks later that he knew it hurt because he was so in love with them. Yes, he knew Lyf would have probably scoffed and called it foolish, but he didn’t care. He was in love with Lyf. He wanted to tell Lyf when they wake up, and he wanted Lyf to stay.

Oh. Would Lyf even want to stay?

Marius shoves that thought aside, not wanting to think about it. Instead, he thinks about everything he’s going to say to Lyf when they wake up, everything that went unsaid. Screw being affected by the Bifrost, that was still Lyf lying there in the medbay.

It was still the same Lyf that he loved.

* * *

It’s like deja vu, in a sense. They’ve fallen back into the loop, like they knew they would- those same scenes, those same faces. It plays over and over. They behold it all.

Lyf knows the story forward and backwards and every which direction by now, because the truth was so deeply driven into them when the Black Box was fixed. They know how the story ends, and it will always end the same every time. It makes them tired more than anything, and it makes it that much harder not to give into despair again. But how can they help that hen they’re stuck in a rainbow nightmare?

It scares them still, that they know the Bifrost curls and twists within them here, trying to convince them into giving into it and everything they’re becoming.

They walk the path before them, one of the train cars, in a daze. There’s no one here, but they know sooner or later it will all fall apart, like it always does. Outside the train, colors of the Bifrost swirl around and around. Lyf knows what is hidden behind their beauty though.

They stop and sit down in one of the empty seats, to catch their breath and to rest.

The new plan of attack is this- Lyf was able to break the loop before. Maybe they can break it enough to find a way out of this stupid place. Seeing all these events played out over and over is exhausting though. They may now be searching for weak points and inconsistencies that they may be able to use to their advantage, but it takes a toll. It doesn’t help that every so often they’ve started coughing up this weird black goo, though they think it’s either a side effect of whatever the Bifrost is doing to them, or some retaliation of this space because they’re searching for any weak points in this space and trying to leave.

In any case, Lyf’s desperate enough to try, but they just need a moment.

They close their eyes and lean their head back, but they do not notice that someone else has approached.

“Are you lost?”

Lyf opens their eyes and looks to the person standing next to them. They had almost forgotten her voice.

“Are you another illusion of the Bifrost too, Loki?” They ask.

Loki, in the same green dress she was wearing on the train, replies, “That depends on your perspective. Is this seat taken?”

“I don’t think it matters.” Their voice wavers on that last word and they suddenly start coughing again. They put a hand to their mouth as if to try and contain what they know they’ll see, but then there’s a tap on their shoulder.

They look up and see Loki holding a handkerchief out for them. They don’t question where she got it from, but they take it.

“Thank you.” They mutter, coughing into it. They know it’ll be stained black.

She nods and takes the seat across from them. “I can see you’ve been touched by the Bifrost as well. That’s a terrible burden for someone so young.”

“Why do you care?”

“Because I know what it’s like, Lyfrassir. You said it yourself; touched by the Outer Gods.”

They’re a bit surprised she knows their name. “Okay. So, let’s say you are Loki. I know you were there in the end, you and Sigyn both were. I guess it’s not too far of a stretch to say that you are here now, or at least some remnant of you. Why are you _here_ though, and talking with me?”

“Because you looked lost, like I said. Also because I can tell you are at a crossroads.”

Lyf eyes her curiously. “A crossroads?”

“Yes. You must have realized it; that you are not the person you once were because of the Bifrost.” She explains, hands folded together across her lap. “You are changing, and I think you are very much aware of that. That stuff you’ve been coughing up? It’s evidence of the conflict within you; grappling with what you know is happening, even though you knew you did not escape without becoming exposed to that madness first.”

Lyf coughs again, as if on cue, but doesn’t respond to what she says. Loki continues.

“Your instinct is probably to shut it out, and it’s reasonable, but I am afraid it isn’t so simple. The Bifrost has reached out to you, and brought you here. Your body may remain in the physical world, but in your mind, your spirit, it’s different. The Bifrost can reach you in more way than what you’ve seen. So now you are here, and it brings me to the point i’m trying to make. You must be very careful. As you are now, there are two options; you can either embrace it, or you eventually loose yourself.”

“Neither of those sound pleasant.” Lyf finally says.

Loki almost looks sympathetic. “You’re in pain, and I’m sorry that you are. I tried to stop what I had seen in those visions, but I could not. Do you still think of me as Loki, though I have been touched by the Bifrost too? Outer Gods? I cannot make this choice for you, but eventually you cannot stay still like this forever. Eventually it will tear you apart. I’m only presenting you with the options.”

“But, I don’t… What am I supposed to do? The Bifrost- Yog-Sothoth- took everything I knew; did this to me. What… What would you do, Loki?”

“I don’t believe that’s for me to answer. I can say this much; you can live. I believe you can find an equilibrium. It’s hard, I will not lie about that, but I believe you can. Remember who you are. Find what anchors you. Use it, and you will be okay.”

Lyf didn’t like the sound of all that, but… she might have a point.

“I’ll think about it. Thank you.” They mutter, but sincere.

Loki smiles. “Good. Now, as nice as this chat has been, I must be going.” She stand, but looks back at them. “We both know how the story ends.”

They do, unfortunately.

She starts to walk away, but Lyf calls her back. “Loki.”

Loki stops. “Yes?”

“I… I investigated what happened to the train when it finally got back to Midgard. I saw you in the recordings. Whatever Odin did to you… She did a terrible thing. I’m sorry you suffered.”

There’s a silence before a quiet, “Thank you, Lyfrassir. I’m glad what happened here didn’t go unknown; that you found it.”

They listen as her footsteps fade away and they turn their head to the window, watching the colors outside. The fragment of the Bifrost within them is like a storm, and as much as they try to fight it, long enough to get out of this place at least, it’s wearing them down. They need to find a way to escape, and fast, before they drown in it.

And yet…

An anchor… maybe that’s it.

Soon after Lyf starts to hear the screams that signify the beginning of the end. They take that as their cue to keep moving.

* * *

Nastya was an unexpected surprise to find in the medbay. For one, she spent most days in engineering. Sometimes she could be found with Jonny, but she was someone who kept to herself mostly. Marius played violin with her sometimes, but only when the mood struck her. The only time he ever saw her in medbay was when she came looking for something or felt like playing violin.

So, Marius was not expecting it when he was sitting with Lyf reading something on Midgardian physiology Ivy had sent him when her voice called out, “Ivy told me you would be here.”

He almost drops the datapad, but sees her in the doorway. “Oh. What’s up, Nastya?”

“Nothing really. May I come in?”

“Yeah, sure.”

She walks in and over to where him, but he does not miss the way her gaze drifts over to Lyf. “This is them?”

“Yup, that’s Lyf, except they don’t normally have rainbows in their hair.”

“I see. I haven’t gotten the chance to meet them yet and I only know of them from the recordings we’ve been using for our new album. Did you really manifest violins just to annoy them?”

He can’t help but grin. “Yeah. That one really got them.”

“Hm. Still not awake, huh.”

“Nope, not yet.”

“Given what I’ve heard, they must be going through a lot.”

“Outside of all the physical stuff, Raph said that they may be dealing with something a little out of our reach because the Bifrost has messed with them so much. She called it an internal conflict of sorts.”

“That may be, yes.” She agreed.

“Remember when I told you about the dream I had of them? They said they were trapped somewhere. I can’t help but think of that these days.”

She adjusts her glasses and then says. “May I offer a suggestion?”

Marius isn’t really sure what she has in mind but he might as well hear her out. “Sure.”

“Talk to them? Talk to them about anything and everything. Tell them how you feel.”

See, Marius has already done that, but didn’t bother these days. “I don’t know, Nastya. What will that do?”

“Make you feel better?” Nastya answers with a shrug. “You’ve had a lot on your mind in relation to Lyfrassir, I can tell. Sometimes it helps to let these things out, even if it’s speaking into the void. I’ve done that sometimes. I did that in the days when I first knew Aurora; when it was just me and Jonny.”

Maybe that would help; There was a lot Marius had on his mind and wanted to say to Lyf. He wanted to wait till they were awake, but maybe it would reach wherever Lyf was, whatever the Bifrost had dragged them into.

“Fine, I’ll give it a go.”

“Great. Oh, also, I may have lied before. I didn’t really come here for any personal reason, but everyone else is looking for you so we can practice the new album.”

Marius groans. “Of course they are. Tell them I’ll be along in a moment, and don’t send anyone to shoot me and drag me there.”

She grins and leaves, but pauses in the doorway. “I wish Lyf good health.”

“If they were awake, I’m sure they’d appreciate that. They’d probably like you, Nastya.”

“We shall see then.”

When she disappears back into the hall, Marius sets the datapad aside. He does not leave yet though. He should get going because, yes he’s still trying to nail Thor’s part down and Jonny wants to get everything in the new album sorted before they reach the planet where they’ll be premiering it, but he doesn’t leave just yet.

Instead, he turns to Lyf.

“So, uh...” He begins. “I gotta get going since we’re still working on the new album. Honestly I don’t think you’d like it since it’s- it’s about the Bifrost and your investigation and Jonny may or may not be playing you. I gotta do something before I head out first.”

He moves his chair closer to Lyf.

“I don’t know what’s going on in there, what the Bifrost has done to you, but whatever it is, I’m really, really hoping you come back soon. I miss you, Lyf, and I wish I could just- I don’t know. Beat up what ever squamous thing is tormenting you? Does that count? I know you’ve been through a lot, and I bet you’re probably mad at me because me Ivy, and Raph knew what was coming. Lyf, I wanted to take you away from there, and I should have. Sorry I didn’t.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you’re here, but it’s not the same with you like this. Just hurry back, okay? I’m gonna sound like a total sap here, but I miss you and I want to tell you more; everything I should have. How I feel about you. Because at some point my attempts at flirting with you became- fuck I’m so bad at this. They became something…. more. I at least want you to know that.”

Lyf does not respond, but that’s fine. He’d say it again when Lyf woke up if he had to.

“Okay, now I really should get going before everyone else gets impatient; mainly Jonny. I’m playing Thor in the new album; isn’t that great!” Marius gets up from the chair. “I’ll be back later. I… I hope what I said helps, because even If the Biforst has changed you, you’re still the same Lyfrassir Edda to me. Also, if I know one thing, it’s that you’re stubborn and strong-willed. I know you don’t wanna die to the Bifrost, and I don’t believe you will. I trust you to come back, Lyf. I know you're still in there somewehre.”

He reaches out and takes their hand one more time.

“Lyf… Come back, Lyf. You’re safe here, so come back.”

And with some regret at leaving Lyf here on their own, Marius leaves. Maybe pretending to be Thor for a bit will prove to be a decent distraction.

* * *

There’s something off.

Lyf can hear the screams of the doomed passengers in the distance. They’ve already seen, again, the horrible fates that befell some once the horrors of Yog-Sothoth were released upon them; Frey, Heimdall, Tyr, Garm, Freya-

But something is off.

They stop in the train car they are in, and they listen. They listen, and they feel for any changes in the environment around them. If there’s one good thing about the piece of Bifrost in them, it’s that it grants them an extended awareness of their surroundings. At least in here it does anyway. As they listen, they don’t hear anything but the screaming, but they feel that there’s something beyond them.

Lyf can’t catch it at first, but the sense something, and it sounds… it sounds like...

There’s a voice…

And something about it calls to them.

‘ _Next car over.’_ They realize.

Lyf starts in the direction of where he assumes the voice is, focusing in on it. They can’t make out words exactly, but they know it’s there.

Passing through the next car, the screams suddenly drop out. They can’t hear them anymore. What grabs their attention though, is a black cube sitting in the aisle of the deserted car. It looks like the Black Box, and it’s also faintly glowing rainbow. The sight of it makes Lyf want to turn away, but they don’t.

Because they hear Marius’s voice coming from it.

Lyf opens their mouth to say something, but they remain silent. Instead they slowly walk forward, listening to the words coming from it.

> “ _-and I wish I could just- I don’t know. Beat up what ever squamous thing is tormenting you? Does that count?”_

What? What was Marius on about? They don’t believe they’ve ever heard him like this either. He sounds… Sad? Solemn? That was unusual; they’d always known the man who got on Lyf’s nerves, but could also be as bright as a ray of sunlight.

Lyf picks up the cube, and listens.

> “ _I know you’ve been through a lot, and I bet you’re probably mad at me because me and my associates knew what was coming. Lyf, I wanted to take you away from there, and I should have. Sorry I didn’t.”_

Yes, Lyf had been mad that those three knew, but now that they look back on it, even if Lyf had known this, would anyone have listened? Marius, Raphaella, and Ivy were prisoners at the time too; there was little chance anyone would have listened to them. But-

‘ _You wanted to take me away?’_ They wonder, surprised.

Marius goes on, and talks about Lyf. He talks about missing Lyf and having things to tell them and-

Oh…

> “ _How I feel about you. Because at some point my attempts at flirting with you became- fuck I’m so bad at this. They became something… more. I at least want you to know that.”_

Lyf stares, eyes wide. Does… Does Marius…

Suddenly, the cube starts to glow brighter and Lyf… they see something. It’s a brief flash of a moment in their mind, but they can see it with absolute clarity.

They see Marius, holding their hand. They’re lying in a bed, sleeping. Marius looks happy to see them, but also concerned.

Lyf drops the cube in shock, realization making tears come to their eyes. What they saw is happening now, isn’t it? They are hearing Marius somehow and he is calling for them, calling for them to come back.

And Lyf remembers.

They had known Marius and his two companions for a long time, for eight years. While the trio had always proved to be an annoyance, especially Marius, there had always been something about the violinist with the metal arm that had got to Lyf. Yes, he was a pain, but it there was more to it. Marius never backed down from their conversations, and such a fire always sparked between them that filled Lyf with a sort of thrill. They remember his songs, and they remember his laugh.

They remember at some point, they begun to feel something for Marius as well, but had denied it due to obvious reasons at the time. They still felt it now though; present and strong. They’ve felt is since the first time Marius appeared to them here; when he held them close and told them things would be okay.

What Odin had said before… they understand it now.

“Gods, Marius...” They say aloud, picking the cube back up.

> “ _I hope what I said helps, because even if the Biforst has changed you, you’re still the same Lyfrassir Edda to me._ _Also, if I know one thing, it’s that you’re stubborn and strong-willed. I know you don’t wanna die to the Bifrost, and I don’t believe you will. I trust you to come back, Lyf. I know you're still in there somewhere._ _”_

No, Lyf doesn’t want to die to it. They don’t want it to tear them apart. They can’t die. They can’t let it snuff out them; the last piece of Yggdrasil-

Oh.

That’s what Loki meant. She said to find an anchor and use that.

Their memories of Yggdrasil. Their memories and feelings for Marius. Those were Lyf’s anchors.

> “ _Lyf… Come back, Lyf. You’re safe here, so come back.”_

And for moment Lyf swears he can feel a hand gripping their own.

Marius’s voice goes away after that, and cuts into static. Lyf holds the cube close, like some precious item, as a tear slides down their face.

“It does, Marius. More than you know. I hear you...”

Lyf thinks back to what Loki said, about being at a crossroad. She said they would have to make a choice, lest they be torn apart by what now resides within them. For a while now, Lyf’s been bouncing back and forth between those possibilities, silently debating them as they wander through here. They don’t want this bestowed upon them, but at the same time, they know they would rather not be devoured by it. Maybe they could live as Loki had; walking on a fine line, perhaps, but maybe they could manage it.

Besides… Marius is waiting for them and he believed that Lyf was still Lyf. If someone believed in them, that everything could be okay, then maybe Lyf can believe it too.

They feel the cube dissolve in their hands, and they don’t have to look to know they’ve taken it into themself, those words into who they are. They’ll hold it near.

“I’ll be back soon.”

Lyf knows what they need to do now. They don’t like it, but better than turning into a mindless squamous thing.

“ _And where do you think you’re going?”_ Something else says to them.

They feel a presence behind them, and they bristle. Lyf turns to see shadows on the other side of the train car twisting into horrible shapes, and those horrible shapes are slowly oozing toward them. Hm, it would seem the Bifrost, or whatever this entity is, isn’t very happy with them, or wants to try and pull them in further. Either way, it’s not good, but honestly Lyf’s had enough. They’re sick and tried of all this.

“You’ve had your fun, but I’m not going to give in to this.” Lyf declares. “Loki was right, and if I have to live as a monster, then fine. I’ll find a way to deal with it. I won’t let you kill me, and I won’t let you destroy the last bit of the Yggdrasil system; my memories of it.”

“ _You think this will change anything? You can be so much more here.”_

A few of the forms hiss at them. These things aren’t going to let them go so easily, which comes as no surprise.

“No, it won’t, but I’ll take my chances. You tried to make me forget but you failed. I’m not letting that happen again.”

“ _You really wish to deny this?”_

“Say what you want, but I am leaving. At least I know someone will welcome me, even if I am changed. Yggdrasil will stay alive through me.”

_“Pity then. You’re such a fool.”_

The things advance on them and they sigh. It’s going to be hard, but they can do this. “How can I get you off my back? Oh, I have an idea. If it worked on me, maybe it can work on you. Now, how did the song go?”

The words come to them easily, and they recall the memory of Marius’s playing the sound on his violin. They take that memory, and they take the words they heard from the cube. They take them and the feelings associated with them, and turns it into something they can use. The memory can be their anchor, and as for the feeling-

“Ah, that’s it.” They imagine a sword in their hand, one as sharp as all the irritation as that song brought out and as sure as the words they heard. “Gods, this is so stupid, but- Like whiskey laced with gasoline, we're deadly when we're drunk.”

One of the forms snarls and jumps at them, but they slash at it with the sword they’ve conjured. They hear the music flow through them, and hear the words they had always hated. They sing with the voice they always heard speak it, like a duet.

“So shut your face and settle down, you sneering little punks.” More come for them, advance and surround, but Lyf manages to cut them down. They jump and bite and swipe, but Lyf fights through it. “For space is vast and you are small. It’s black and bitter cold.”

Once they are dealt with Lyf turns to the window, takes a breath, and readjusts the grip on the sword.

“The book is lying open. There are tales to be told.”

They cut through the surroundings like they are nothing but paper, and they step forward. Clutching the sword, and looping the music in their mind, they fall into the stars.

They fall, they fall, they fall, and they let the sword cut their way through.

Because they will not die here. They will live. They will find a way out and back to someone who waits for them. They will learn to live with this.

They’ll find a way even if their heart is stained forever with rainbow.

* * *

The color gives way to black void and all is blessedly silent and dark.

They breathe it in.

They come back to themself.

* * *

The first thing Lyf hears when they open their eyes is a violin. They feel exhaustion threaded through their body, but the sound of the violin comes in clearly. It’s nothing energetic or that one song that always got on their nerves, but something more subdued, but also beautiful. They’ve never heard this song before.

They have a pretty good idea about who is playing it though.

They turn their head, and- yes, there is Marius. He’s there and playing a violin. He doesn’t seem to notice them, as they only really get a side view of him plus his violin. Might as well get his attention the old fashion way.

“I’ve never… heard that one...” Their voice sounds hoarse as they speak, like they haven’t used it in a while.

The violin cuts off with a terrible squeak and it makes Lyf wince as they roll over onto their side, trying to push themselves up. Their arms feel week beneath them and they feel the slightest bit queasy.

There’s a rush of movement, and then Marius’s voice. “Lyf?! Lyf, you’re- Oh Christ, you scared me there! Wait, no; don’t try and get up. You’re still coming out of it. Shit, lay back down, okay? Or, well- here, I’ll help you sit back.”

There are hands on their shoulders, easing them back. Lyf let’s themselves be pulled by it, because they don’t have the energy to fight. When they’re once again on their back (and laying on quite a few pillows), they look up and see Marius sitting beside them on the bed, looking down at them with a mixture of concern and relief.

“I knew it! I knew you were still in there! This is great!” He exclaims. Lyf’s a bit confused, but doesn’t question it. “I’ve been worried, you know.”

“Where am I?” They ask.

“You’re on the _Aurora_ ; starship of the Mechanisms, including yours truly.”

“Huh. Okay. Wait, there’s more of you? Besides yourself, Raphaella, and Ivy?”

“Why of course! We are a band after all.”

“A band of space pirates. Great.” They let out a huff. “I shouldn’t be surprised; out of anyone, of course I end up running into you again.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Never could really escape you and the others back on Midgard, nor your insistent violin playing.”

Marius laughs and gives them a grin, leaning in. “You were good company, and I certainly know you liked the violin playing. I can start playing you some now that you’re up!”

“Why you-” Lyf reaches forward and grabs onto his arm. They try to pull themselves forward to sit up, using Marius for support. “-absolute-”

Hands grip them carefully by the shoulders and Lyf meets Marius’s eyes. This… Lyf missed this. Marius still had the same bright energy that they remembered and they had missed that. They missed a great deal of things about Marius and now he was here. The person who called for them and became their anchor was here.

Marius was certainly something. A nuisance, yes, but an endearing one. Lyf loves that about him.

So they do the only thing they can think of is to pull him close with what little strength they have so they can kiss him.

It’s clumsy and Lyf’s desperately holding onto him, but Lyf wants him to know. They want Marius to know of what they feel for him, and their relief that he’s here. The hands move away from their shoulders and now arms are wrapped around them and Marius returns the kiss. Softly at first, but quickly deepening it, and after all the awful things they had just gotten themselves unstuck from, it feels euphoric. For the first time in Gods know how long, they don’t feel cold. They feel warm.

Lyf breaks away for air, cheeks flushed. They share a glance with Marius for a few moments that feel longer than they should be.

“I… Um...” Marius says, a bit breathlessly. “I’ll… make us some tea. If you want.”

“Y-Yeah… Sure.” Lyf replies.

They think for a moment that maybe that the kiss wasn’t the best move, but Marius gives them a smile and presses a kiss to their forehead.

“Good to see you too.” They mutter as he gets up from the bed and goes off to presumably make tea.

In the meantime, they look around the space they’re in. It would seem that they’re in a medbay of some sort, and at this point they’re going to assume this is part of the _Aurora_. They don’t know for how long they’ve been here, but they can only assume they were brought here by the rest of these “Mechanisms” people. On the bright side they’re not restrained or anything, and there are no shimmering rainbow surfaces to be found anywhere. That’s certainly a relief.

It means they’re out now. They’re no longer stuck in whatever Bifrost warped dimension they had been in.

Lyf looks down at their own hands. Nothing’s changed, they don’t feel any different, but they know that everything has changed. They close their eyes and search for it, what they know is completely assimilated into them. Lyf breathes out, opens their eyes, and they see webbing, branching lines of rainbow spread across their palms. It stays for a few seconds and then fades. They clench their hands together and sigh.

‘ _So this is how it is now; twisted into this new form. Me, but more_ _eldritch._ _’_ Lyf thinks. _‘...But it’s okay.’_

They’d find a way to live with this; they had to. They had to live so that the memory of Yggdrasil lives too. They may harbor some of the Bifrost within them now, but technically, the same could be said about Yggdrasil; everything they remember about it. It’s still kind of a lot, but they think they can live with that.

Marius comes back with some tea a few minutes later, handing them a mug.

“You need more pillows or anything?” He asks, sitting down near them on the edge of the bed.

“Um, no. I think I’m good.” They feel warmth in their palms from the drink. “So… I’m guessing I’ve been out of it for a while if you’ve found me and I’m no longer in my ship.”

“Yeah. You’ve been unconscious for about a week, possibly longer. I don’t know how long you were like that before we found you.”

Oh. Okay... It has been a while then. They went _somewhere_ , but their body remained here. That’s weird.

“Are you feeling alright?” He continues. “Things were… all rainbowy and weird when we found you. Raph said you might have a had a bad reaction to whatever the Bifrost was doing to you and that you were kinda in a weird state of hibernation. I thought you might be a bit disoriented when you woke up.”

“No? I mean, not in the way you mean. It’s just...” They take a sip of the tea. It’s sweet. “The last thing I remember was being in my ship, and I was hearing things, and everything hurt. Then everything just exploded into colors and… then I didn’t know where I was. I was trapped there; stuck. Everything I had seen in the Black Box played itself in a loop over and over. That, or sometimes I’d be adrift in a wash of those many colors. I’ll admit that I lost myself for while and nearly gave into to this thing inside me.”

“The… Bifrost?”

“Look who’s been paying attention. But then...” They thought back to when Marius had appeared to them in the room of strained glass light; a moment that felt so, so real in the midst of all that. “But then I remembered myself, and eventually, after more wandering through that mess, I found something. Rather, I heard something.” They look up into his eyes. “I heard you, Marius. You were calling for me. You asked me to hurry back because you missed me and wanted to tell me all the things you didn’t get to before.”

Marius, who has sat quietly by while Lyf explain this, finally speaks. “You… You heard all that?”

“It reached me somehow, yes.” Lyf felt a shiver pass through them. Was it cold in here?

Marius seemed to take notice, asking, “You okay?”

“Just a bit chilled.”

“Oh, well… if you want, I could, you know, hold you? Maybe that would help?”

Now, before all this, Lyf would have written it off entirely, but in the present moment, that sounds pretty good to Lyf right about now.

“Yes.”

* * *

So… facts.

Fact number one; Lyf’s awake. Lyf’s finally awake, though a bit groggy, but that’s to be expected. Fact number two; Lyf kissed him. Holy shit, Lyf kissed him.

Marius is trying not to freak out over this second fact. Yes, he was glad that they were finally awake, but he didn’t think they would go ahead and kiss him.

And Marius had kissed them back.

So… they’d probably have to talk about that, because Marius wanted to make sure he wasn’t reading too much into this, but first making sure Lyf was alright and felt comfortable.

That brought him to fact number three; he was currently holding Lyf in his arms. They still felt cold, but not as much as when they were first brought aboard.

“I didn’t think I’d ever find myself in your arms.” Lyf mutters, snuggled up to Marius.

“I didn’t think I’d see you again.” He replies. “I should have come back for you and taken you from Midgard when I had the chance. It’s just… well… your morals get pretty fucked when you realize you can’t die.”

“I was mad at you; you and the others. I was mad and hurt when I realized you three wouldn’t be coming back and that you had obviously known about the train. Then again, who would have listened? It was far too late by that point. Believe it or not, and maybe it was isolation going to my head, I actually missed you.”

“Cause I’m so charming? I knew I left a good impression on you.”

Lyf chuckled. “More than that. It’s mutual, you know; my… feelings for you. I think they’ve been there for a while, but I denied it to myself. Never could get you off my mind though.” They trace their finger across the metal of his arm. “It wasn’t until after I fled Yggdrasil and I started thinking about you that I realized it. Then I heard you in that Hel, and I heard you playing the violin when I woke, and… it seemed a better time than any to act upon it.”

Lyf may not know it, but that makes Marius feel happier than he’s ever been. Lyf pretty much answered what he was going to ask them, and apparently they herd all that stuff he said to them before while they were sleeping. He can’t help but place another kiss upon their head and hold them tighter.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a while, honestly. I’m, really, really glad you’re alive and that the Bifrost didn’t eat you or something.”

“What was that song you were playing anyway?”

Oh, they must mean the song he was playing when they apparently woke up. “That? Just something I picked up in our travels. Surprised you’re not complaining about it.”

“Only when it’s _that_ song- you know which one. This one I heard… it was pretty. Why were you playing it?”

He doesn’t say it was because he was in a somber mood, but he gives an answer close enough to the truth. “I don’t know, really, but I kinda just felt like playing something for you? Mood stuck me, you could say.”

“Hm. Well, I liked it. You know, I hated that one song you always tried to play for me, but I never actually thought you were awful at it. You’re very good, really.”

And he can’t help but laugh, true and genuine. “Hey, Lyf?”

“Mm?”

“I wanna tell you something.”

“Go ahead.”

He takes a breath. “I’m so glad you’re okay. I don’t care what the Bifrost did to you; you’re here, and that’s what I care about. I love you, Lyf.”

“Marius...” Lyf’s voice sounds tired, and also… like they’re crying.

Lyf brings their head up and Marius can see that their eyes, those lovely silver eyes, have tears in them. Yet, Lyf is smiling.

“Can you please kiss me again?”

Marius eagerly complies. When Lyf is up on their feet he’s going to whisper so many things to them that have been on his mind, and give them so many kisses, or probably do both. He wants to hold them in this moment and never let go.

It feels perfect.

“What time is it?” Lyf asks when they part.

“Somewhere around 2AM ship time, I think?” Marius answers. “I couldn’t sleep so I came here to keep you company and play you some violin. No one else is up and about if that’s what you’re worried about, or at least not around this part of the ship. Oh, that reminds me. I have to ask you something.”

“What is it?”

“Look, you don’t have to if you don’t want to, but would you like to stay? Maybe? Here on the ship with me I mean. We can make you part of the crew!”

Lyf doesn’t respond at first, and Marius thought that question was a bit too much. After a moment, they say, “...Would the rest of them want me here?”

“I mean, you’ve got me! And Raphaella and Ivy are here too! You’d probably get along with Nastya or Brian. Toy Soilder… is Toy Solider. That leaves Tim, Ashes, and Jonny, but I think they’d come around eventually.”

“Are those the others? Hm… I mean, I’ve got nowhere else to go. Yggdrasil is gone, save for what I retain of it. Besides, I’d like to stay by your side, if that’s not too much to ask.”

“Not at all. If you want I can introduce you to the rest of the crew. We all have breakfast together every morning and I think it’s my turn to do the cooking.”

“I might as well if I am to stay.”

Everything about this is great. Lyf was alive and Lyf wanted to stay. Also he got to kiss Lyf.

It’s so good to have them back.

* * *

Of course the simplest way to introduce the person you’d never thought you’d see again/your new partner to the rest of your murder pirate friends is to do so during breakfast. Lyf leans on him a little as they walk into the kitchen; a blanket around their shoulders and a simple braid done into freshly washed hair.

“Hey, sorry I’m late.” Marius says, getting everyone’s attention. They all fall silent when they see Lyf with him.

Lyf tenses beside him, but he whispers something reassuring to them before speaking to the others once again.

“Be nice; we have a guest.”

Lyf proceeds to take a seat at the table while Marius sets to cooking. He listens as Lyf introduces themself to the group, and then of course everyone’s starting into a million questions. By the time Marius gets food on the table Lyf’s looking around anxiously, but then Marius sits beside them and takes their hand. They give a smile back, and squeeze his hand.

For the next few days after that, Lyf and Maruis spend quite a bit of time catching up with one another, in more ways than one. Although… there are also some interesting things that happen in that time as well.

For example, Ivy ends up adopting Lyf as an archival assistant, and Nastya starts to teach Lyf the workings of Aurora and making repairs. Marius, for his part is glad to see that Lyf is becoming more comfortable among the crew. They’ve even sat in on one of their practice sessions.

Speaking of which, Lyf does find out that their new album is about the Bifrost and Lyf’s investigation, which does irritate them at first. Marius can’t blame them, but he’ll blame Jonny for that one. Oddly enough, Lyf does admit that seeing Marius play Thor was… interesting. That makes him smile for the rest of the day.

Oh, and there was that one incident too that occurred when Lyf was helping Nastya with repairs. Long story short; it turns out Lyf was now immortal as well. It gave Marius quite a scare when Nastya and Brian brought Lyf to the medbay, but Lyf was alright in the end. They had Raphaella run some tests on them after that, which detailed some of the changes the Bifrost had on them. Marius was aware of the advanced regeneration, but this only confirmed the immorality theory.

Jonny and Tim get word about this and send Lyf a cake that reads “First death” and “One of us”. Lyf rolls their eyes at the gesture.

Lyf is still working through their own issues that are more existential and Bifrost related, but Marius doesn’t mind. He gets it; everyone on this ship including himself had their own problems, but they found their own ways of making things work.

Such as when he finds Lyf standing outside his room one night.

“Hey.” He yawns in greeting.

“Hey.” Lyf replied, sounding just as tired. They had their own room, but sometimes wandered over here.

“Nightmare?”

“Kind of? I just… I can’t sleep. I’d really not like to be alone right now either.”

“Ah. Some not great thoughts circling around your head?”

Lyf shrugs, but Marius welcomes them in anyway.

They end up tangled together on top on Marius’s bed, with Lyf curled up against him while he gently brushed a hand through their hair, all the while whispering words of comfort to them; of love and understanding.

“You know,” Marius says after a while. “you don’t have to have your own room. We can always share this one.”

“Hm. It has crossed my mind.” Lyf sounds more sleepy now.

“I wouldn’t mind it, you know.”

“I know… I wouldn’t either.”

Their words are trailing off, so Marius continues speaking softly to them until they relax; until they fall asleep. He pulls a blanket over them both and lets himself drift away as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Lyf hears when they wake up is basically the violin part of the song "Dirtmouth" from the Hollow Knight Soundtrack
> 
> (Also, shout out to the brief convo in the Mechs discord about the cowboy roller skates)
> 
> Thanks to everyone who has commented and left kudos. I'm so very thankful ^^


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